Hard to believe it has been almost 3 years since my first entry on here...why? Well...life! Depression, lost love, illness, despair, I could go on with this list of human struggle and suffering. One thing is for sure, I hate medication, I hate looking at it, taking it, fucking hate it. But I know that my mind will not be able to conquer its own demon side without this annoying routine. I do a lot of suffering alone. I choose this. This is not to say I do not have people around me that help me to walk this tightrope I live on its just I prefer being at company with my own self a lot of the time, also, it is impossible to talk or show any distinct signs of life in the midst of a deep depression. Much like the thickest fog. You can almost taste how dense it is. So I know, sadly, that I have this fight on my hands permanently. It's been a good day today, thanks mainly to running, its about the only complementary thing I can do that can literally obliterate sometimes the start of a mind fog. Not always, but a lot of the time it is effective. I truly do not need much in my life by way of material. As I travel life's path I am distinctly aware of the irritability of the things I once found important, now I see it as a gross indulgence of which serves no real purpose. If I run, I am literally transported...enabling the process of standing, observing and "being" much more tolerant within my psyche.
That's all for now. Mind how you go. Cher xxx
